Drinking & Smoking

Just drinking and smoking

and smoking and drinking

and drinking and smoking

and smoking and drinking

and smoking and smoking

and drinking and smoking so much today

Blues Against Canucks: 1st Round NHL Playoffs

The most telling thing to me in this series is not that the Blues are 9-1-1 in their past 11 games, it is that these two teams are separated by just four wins throughout the entire 82-million game season.

Yeah. Four.

How many games to win this series? Yeah. Four. Out of Seven…

Still feeling so confident?

Me Either.

Not to mention that the season series was split 2-2. That gives us no edge either.

The Blues have lost one game in their past eleven. We’re gonna make them lose four of their next seven, at the most?

Hell, YEAH!~

Maybe if we play some TURBONEGRO!

A NEW TIME

is this all i see now
or really am i
another question just for me
an answer that’s swam
thru these questions before me
what is it i am
do i really care now
or onwards i tred
i’ve nothing before me
for naught have i fret

these questions of my life
no answers i’ve found
no reason to search on
the reasons abound
with only more searching
as i’ve made myself
a place to put questions
an answerless shelf

once i thouoght possibly
an answer in you
i sought thru the ages
a specialty knew
that with yourself shining
within this life here
i’d finally feel
myself with one dear

but now i have come to grips with the truth
there’s nothing here but what i’ve sent to bruit
so you leave behind you what i’ve sent before
and betrayal of love should haunt us no more.

ALONE

MY EMPTY HEART IS ACHING
MY BED A BARREN HILL
UPON WHICH I CLIMB
AT NIGHT
UNPREPARED
AND FEARING THE FALL
THAT WILL ARRIVE IN THE MORNING
WHEN
ALONE ONCE MORE
I SET OUT
TO CONQUER THE WORLD
QUEENLESS
I RISE TO VIEW MY KINGDOM
AND SEE
I, KING,
AM NOTHING UNPAIRED.
I THREATEN MYSELF
WITH ABDICATION
AND SELF-EMOLATION.

WHO CARES WHAT

this is what i see
slipping away
and disappearing between the clouds
that rise to cover the sky
once again in the darkness is there the
fingertips of which pulling on
this thing we call life
reaching up to pull
the darkness down
letting the earth become
once again,
as if the twain shall meet always
swirling into that ever changing scene
that is the morning
of my life

one more daylight hour
before anyone else sees it is all
i crave
the newness to me that is unabounded and free
with nothing standing in the way
of me and the self i cannot lift even
my fingers to be

i step once again into the darkness
that my vodka allows
sipping the forgetfulness
and dreaming of you
in a far away place
i know so well.
and have forgotten
just as easily.

WINTER

HERE I SIT WITH CHILLY TOES
EMPTY OF WINE AND FAR TOO LAZY
TO MAKE COFFEE
IT WOULD KILL ME ANYWAY
AT THIS POINT
THE LACK OF SLEEP
THE DRUGS AND DRINK
THE STRESS OF HAVING
NOT ONE THING TO WORRY ME
IS APPARENTLY TOO MUCH
AT LEAST I FEEL THAT WAY
MAYBE IT IS THE CIGGIES
NOW THAT I CAN
WRAP MY HEAD AROUND IT
BUT I WON’T
I WILL STAY UP UNTIL IT IS
SUNRISE
AND THEN I WILL SLEEP
AWAY THE DAY
AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN
ABOUT WINTER
AND THE COLD AND HOW
I JUST DON’T WANT TO
GET UP IN THE MORNINGS ANYMORE.

WHAT SHE IS

can’t see that
she
is the only one
who takes her seriously
the rest of us laugh at her
behind her back
and call her names and
shake our heads
at the things she says
and the things she does and
the things she tells
us to do

under her nose
we flaunt her petty rules
eating and drinking and
talking to the guests
who happen to also
be our friends
she thinks we hate her
and she thinks we
do not care what she saysaysays to us and
she is
for once in her short life
completely correct

not often does one
get to witness
such a fool in action
as if she were giving
a dress rehearsal
for how not to behave
towards others
and towards those with whom
you work and
hopefully we can learn
as we laugh and hide our food
and our drinks and
keep our conversations
to a dull roar

Traduced daily and none the wiser
she trounces about
looking stunning in that
human frame with the shiny hair
and the empty head space
and the megalomania and
the teasing that ceaselessly
trails behind her
she blind to it and luckily so
for we do not want to hurt
her feelings
and make her cry and
perhaps take her own life
no, not those things

we just want the
cunt
to go away

THE FEELING

AS I SIT HERE WATCHING LIFE
GO BY
I WONDER HOW IT IS FOR THOSE
PEOPLE
WHO CAN FEEL IT
I WONDER
BUT I DON’T ENVY THEM
THAT FEELING

IT CAN ONLY BECOME
WORSE THAN MOST
FOR ME.

I’VE GOT IT GOOD.

Dalai Lama’s South African Visa Bar Causes Peace Conference Cancellation, I Predict

The headlines are black and white: Dalai Lama Refused Visa to South Africa.

Underneath, however, is a whole rainbow of meaning. South Africa, still stigmatized by decades of legislated racism, is now showing more of the true colors of its leaders, and those true colors are the color of money; specifically, the colors of the yuan, the national currency of China. Now South Africa is refusing to grant the Dalai Lama entry into the country because they would rather appease the Chinese and keep as many yuan flowing into their country as possible.

Even the above-linked article (Dalai Lama Refused Visa to South Africa), published on the American CNN website, is painted with undertones that reflect the milquetoast U.S. approach to the subject of China and Tibet. Take this quote from the article, “A representative of the Dalai Lama said he was not surprised by the decision. The Tibetan government in exile thinks that China has pressured many countries to refuse a visit by the Dalai Lama…”

The Chinese may also be frightened of the American magazine-style portraiture craze that could follow the Dalai Lama's return to Tibet.

It is not the Tibetan government that thinks China exerts pressure. It is simply fact that China pressures countries to not allow the Dalai Lama to visit them, nor to hold discussions with him with any government member of any country. This is not conjecture.

The insinuation here is ludicrous. It is like saying that some people think former Vice-President Dickwad Cheney and his former construction company, Halliburton, made money off the Iraq war he strongly helped to engineer. Right or wrong, no matter which political side you are on, this statement is fact.

Chinese pressure on this issue is a fact, not a possibility. Look it up. To write about it in this manner is not journalism but reverse sensationalism, and CNN should be ashamed of itself. But that’s a whole other issue…

Of course, the job of any government in today’s world is not to do what is right, but to do what is profitable. With some saying the Chinese currency is currently undervalued, keeping going investments that pump the yuan into an ecomony is likely a very sound investment, considering the world recession. If and when the valuation goes up, you’ve just increased the load of money in your pocket.

On that note, the South African government is concerned that the attendance of the Dalai Lama at this Peace Conference would cause a considerable amount of the attention generated by the conference to shift from the upcoming 2010 World Cup that South Africa will be hosting to discussions of the Chinese occupation of Tibet. The Chinese do not want this discussion to take place and have exerted enough (likely monetary) pressure on the South African lawmakers that they have caved and decided it would not be in the best interests of South Africa to have the Dalai Lama attend the conference.

It is a legitimate concern as it is practically a guarantee that such discussions would be prominent with the attendance of the Dalai Lama at any time in history, but specially with the recent news items that have been written about this touchy area for the Chinese Communist Party that exerts iron-fisted control over the peoples living within its geographical borders. The Chinese see the Tibet issue another way, saying that the West simply misunderstands the issues.

Meanwhile, on the official website for the government of South Africa, it states, “South Africa’s Constitution is one of the most progressive in the world and enjoys high acclaim internationally.” Perhaps it did, but that acclaim fallen with this act that makes a mockery of South African sovereignty.

The irony in this whole situation is that the Chinese have once again shot themselves in the foot in their paranoia on this issue. Had they minded their own business, the conversations on Tibet that are now happening once again across the front pages of nations across the globe would have taken place at a peace conference in South Africa. The mere fact that everyone knows about the issue would have rendered those conversations regional at best. Now, we’re all talking about it.

As for my prediction in the title, two South African Nobel peace prize winners have already pulled out of attendance. Both Archbishop Desmond Tutu and FW de Klerk, have pulled out and it seems very likely that Nelson Mandela will be forced to follow suit. This will force other attendees, such as the head of soccer’s international governing body, Sepp Blatter and actress Charlize Theron to either pull out or threaten to pull out unless the Dalai Lama is granted his visa.

Nelson Mandela may be acknowledging a different sort of prison he inhabits if he does not pull out of the planned South African peace conference that the government has banned the Dalai Lama from attending.

If the South African government has learned the lesson that the Chinese refuse to, they’ll explain the idiocy of their current position to their Chinese masters colleagues and the Dalai Lama will attend and this will all die down.

Unfortunately for them, but fortunately for getting even more press on the Tibet – Chinese issue, I don’t believe them to be all that smart.

Thanksgiving

thank you, oh lord.
you in whom i am un believing.
thank you for the fortunes you have
bestowed upon me.
i appreciate the fact that you,
who i do not believe in,
have blessed me with this life
that i am living.
i love this day,
these drinks,
these friends,
new and not,
and the food,
and the talk,
and the poetry of life
i have witnessed
in these hours
i have beeen granted today.
and i thank you for the life
i have been given
and the grantedness i do not
take it for,
for indeed i do not
take it at all.

i receive.

with a grace
i can only pray,
although i
do not
believe in doing so,
is befitting that
which i am receiving.

what i have before me,
and aft,
if i may,
is beauty in motion,
is life without a line
in any poem
nor any spoken word.

it is the happiness we all search for.
the answer to all questions.
the be to all endings.
the reason for all beings.
the trueness of love,
and the end to all doubts.

whether or not you exist,
oh lord,
of all who believe,
is not the point of this prayer to thee.

the point is
that i want you
to hear me

Thank You.